Real Heroes


I’ve been listening to Sofie Hagen‘s Made of Human Podcast (MoHPOD) for a while now. I like her so much. She’s lovable and funny, in a low-key, absolutely-not-obnoxious kinda way (I wonder what she is like when performing. Will I ever find out 😦 )

Was listening to episode 23 of the podcast (in which she interviews Mae Martin) today and liked what Mae said about self care and how she positively molly coddles (not her words) herself every single day. It made me happy to hear about someone not pushing themselves, but just easing into their day, every day: ‘Have a bath. Read a book for an hour etc’ (her words, more or less).

I’ve had to do that of late. My anxiety levels are crazy and are set off by the littlest, silliest things. Like, just five minutes ago, my daughter was looking for and couldn’t find something totally unimportant and I could feel my ears turning red and the start of palpitations. Like WTF. Anyway, I have had to practise a hell of a lot of self care. I sleep a lot. I read what I want. I lie in bed and ignore deadlines, within reason. It sometimes makes me feel guilty that I need to do these things to function. Listening to Sofie and Mae talk about being kind to themselves made me feel better about it.

What I most love about Sofie: She is fat and frank and positive (but real) about being fat (like she’s not 100% positive, which would just be not believable at all, but she is dealing with it positively, has an awesome life, is awesome, talks about her struggles and fears, and also her triumphs, is sexy and has sex – I mean, these are important things. Fat girls need to know that they can have an awesome life including have sex). She was what I needed at sixteen. And I still need her now at forty-nine.

Sofie and Jessamyn (stolen from Sofie’s Instagram)

The other person I now look to for inspiration and comfort: Jessamyn Stanley. Who needs Lena Dunham or Amy Schummer? Fuck them, I have my real heroes, Jessamyn and Sofie. Follow them on Instagram: Jessamyn & Sofie.

Stolen from Jessamyn’s website. She gives me hope that I might do yoga one day.

Ordinary People

So, as I was saying in my previous post, I finally finished watching the first season of Insecure, the HBO series starring Issa Rae and Yvonne Orji.

I don’t watch much telly and don’t keep up, so I had not heard of the show. I happened upon it when googling about Nigeria: one link led to another and I suddenly found myself watching a recording of a radio interview with Yvonne Orji.

Orji is my partner Don’s surname and in the interview the radio host remarks on how it sounds like Orgy, something I’ve always laughed about.

Anyway, I looked up Insecure immediately after that, started watching the series, and binged on Season 1’s final three episodes today.

OK, if you haven’t yet watched the series and intend to, there will probably be spoilers after the ‘read more’ tag. Continue reading

Ring, ring

ring ring

‘If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it.’
~ from Put a Ring on It by Beyonce Knowles

Someone said it’s a powerful feminist statement, but I feel it buys into the patriachal notion of ownership through marriage, and also discounts women who choose to want ‘it’ and don’t require men to ‘put rings on it’ first.

Perhaps the sentiments are in the right place: Don’t assume you can just have me without my permission. But, in my opinion, it stinks of sex having a price tag, and women using their bodies as bargaining tools. Or rewards. And I don’t like it one bit.